Touch of Sorrow

some days ago, recommended a movie to a movie freak friend of mine, which in turn was recommended to me by another friend of mine like 2-3 years ago. it was "The bridges of Madison County".

this is wat he mailed me after he watched it

"And there were so many moments.. When he was standing in the rain, they look at each other. And she thinks that he didn't really want her coz he easily walks away. And the next minute she sees him clinging the locket she gave him on the mirror of his car.. Fuck man..  I was drowned in some unknown feeling.."

felt like a razorblade scratch on a beating heart. a soul hanging somewhere in limbo, fucked up, forever and lonely.

people come, people go.. we just have to walk on. without trembling, without looking back, without a touch of sorrow. just like eastwood in the madison county :)

Was I destined to come across this quote just after yesterday's conversation!
"What is it: is man only a blunder of God, or God only a blunder of man?" - Friedrich Nietzsche

or is "HE" just playing with me?
 

These days I am totally absorbed by Abrahamic religions, twelve tribes, promised land and the "story" of genesis. Been reading stuff about it. and stumbled upon this link: http://adaniel.tripod.com/beneisrael.htm

Never ever on this earth I had imagined, there will be something like this. Marathi speaking Jews!! आणि ते पण रोहा, पेण आणि पाली मध्ये???

especially the last two photos in that link, just looks like one of the houses in Konkan (oh it breaks my heart to think about Konkan). parked Old Maruti 800, coconut trees, veranda, fence wall covered with green fungi.. 

today I had a conversation with the old house owner in the afternoon. It is this warm caring lady's house in Munich where I am living. We talked about evolution, universe, physics and eternal questions to religion, faith, supernatural entities and eternal answers!  

at the end there was only one thing she asked

"what difference it is going to make in your life if you know whether the GOD exists or not?"

summertime trees covered with a dense layer of mist, rain drops on the window pane and blurred dark clouds outside. you sit alone in your room looking out, seeing the leaves falling apart under the eclipsed sky, feeling cold, deep in thoughts, thinking nothing at all. a little lonely, confused and frustrated. is it the yearning for the past or is it the future unknown.

PS: once she had written in her mail "deep in thoughts, thinking nothing at all". cutie!

woaah! been waiting for this day for months. to let that introvert take control. to let the demons override. suddenly the house of lies built, collapsed! let it burn to ashes. i dont wanna live in it. black metal, long hairs, tranquil seriousness, corner of the room! fuck man i miss you. where were you when i was going down, what happened to the songs.. bitchin around, talking negative about people, fucking up unnecessarily, wasted words, uncalled laughter, unwanted pride. faith in nature, peace, love, truth, human values are far more superior than all these false lies. let them do it, you dont have to participate, you dont have to go into this filthy shit. you are a lil confused boy, so be it, dont try to pretend. how can you forget Rudyard Kipling's IF. smile, dont let these so called 'good angels to survive' fuck up with you. be confused and be good. already those fucked up angels have put a lot of guilt. free.

there are times when 'even' buddha will be jealous of my peace! and there are times when 'even' buddha will look down on me with humiliation because of his hurt ego and say this is where you belong asshole!

all I need is

while(1)

{

peace() ;

}

but the fucking API provided by life has got hell lotta bugs! Expectations, money, love, sex, identity, pride, ego... shit.. rotten thoughts!